so yesterday i was in so much pain i had to just get through the day and soon as i could get all the kids settled i went to bed myself, it was only early but i just couldn’t stand the pain any longer all i wanted was to fall asleep and wake in the morning with less pain (do not give me sympathy i dont like it this is not a rant post nor a whinge post just be patient and read on )
so i am happily snuggled up in bed i dont even want to read my book which shows how really poorly i am i never go to sleep without reading but as i start to drift off my son pops his head round the door and says he feels sad, now some of you may know but for those that don’t my son is severely autistic, so i have a number of coping mechanisms with him and i start with the first one which is ‘does he know why’ now usually he doesn’t and with this one he doesn’t,
so i go straight to number two which is a cuddle and we chat together about how wonderful it would be if mummy won the lottery and we get him back in his room and snuggle into bed with the idea of going to sleep spending all mummys lottery win (it’s a dream we all have) but within moments of my getting back into my bed it becomes obvious that plan number two didn’t work,
hmmm now that usually is a winner so this must be something of a challenge i go back in and he is crying, this always breaks my heart, now i cant settle until i have got to the bottom of this situation, so one thing always makes him feel better is to change all his bed and put fresh, clean, bedding on so i start to change his bed and encourage him to chat to me while i am doing this; being autistic one of the effects is that he finds it difficult to talk not just about himself but talk at all, he didn’t learn how to talk until he was seven, before that we used sign language, and even now when he gets upset i try to keep him talking because he will lose the ability, so i keep him chatting about good stuff, all the fab presents we got yesterday for his birthday, i also got him some pens and colouring paper out,
we still havent found out why he is sad though, i go for plan number ermm lost count now but the next plan in line and that is food, he is a good eater and loves his food, so i leave him snuggled up in fresh lovely clean bed with his fave toys and stuff to colour with i popped his fave show on his dvd player and i pop down stairs to make him a quick sandwich…………
as i go to go back up the stairs with his food i notice something …………
in my poorly state and i was really ill but i had gone to bed early if you remember well one very important thing i had forgotten to do was
blow out the candle in the front room,
we have a fancy smelly candle in front room and i had left it burning ….it occurs to me as i blow it out, that now i know why my son was keeping me up and busy when all i had wanted was sleep, i feel a sudden sense of relief? or panic? probably both at same time because i don’t even want to think of how it could have been if i had gone to sleep, especially because we have just come through a year of hell as a family we lost people very close to us in a house fire last year(no i am still not strong enough to talk about it )
i dash back up the stairs and hug my son and explain to him i think i know why he was sad and i bet he feels better now and he said,’ yes i do mum’ but he doesn’t know why and i tell him why, i tell him he has just saved us all and he is a hero, he saved us because he woke mammy up and made her go down stairs and then i saw the candle and blew it out and i wouldn’t have seen it if it wasn’t for him so he is a hero.
the rest of the night luckily passed by without incident and i had my OCD kick in and spent a lot of time making sure every window was secure doors locked plugs taken out etc but it taught me a lesson and it make me thank my guardian angel for i am sure i have one, that made my son wake me up last night.
have a good day every one and check everything ! specially candles