its true i tell you

so yesterday i was in so much pain i had to just get through the day and soon as i could get all the kids settled i went to bed myself, it was only early but i just couldn’t stand the pain any longer all i wanted was to fall asleep and wake in the morning with less pain (do not give me sympathy i dont like it this is not a rant post nor a whinge post just be patient and read on )

so i am happily snuggled up in bed i dont even want to read my book which shows how really poorly i am i never go to sleep without reading but as i start to drift off my son pops his head round the door and says he feels sad, now some of you may know but for those that don’t my son is severely autistic, so i have a number of coping mechanisms with him and i start with the first one which is ‘does he know why’ now usually he doesn’t and with this one he doesn’t,

so i go straight to number two which is a cuddle and we chat together about how wonderful it would be if mummy won the lottery and we get him back in his room and snuggle into bed with the idea of going to sleep spending all mummys lottery win (it’s a dream we all have) but within moments of my getting back into my bed it becomes obvious that plan number two didn’t work,

hmmm now that usually is a winner so this must be something of a challenge i go back in and he is crying, this always breaks my heart, now i cant settle until i have got to the bottom of this situation, so one thing always makes him feel better is to change all his bed and put fresh, clean, bedding on so i start to change his bed and encourage him to chat to me while i am doing this; being autistic one of  the effects is that he finds it difficult to talk not just about himself but talk at all, he didn’t learn how to talk until he was seven, before that we used sign language, and even now when he gets upset i try to keep him talking because he will lose the ability, so i keep him chatting about good stuff, all the fab presents we got yesterday for his birthday, i also got him some pens and colouring paper out,

we still havent found out why he is sad though, i go for plan number ermm lost count now but the next plan in line and that is food, he is a good eater and loves his food, so i leave him snuggled up in fresh lovely clean bed with his fave toys and stuff to colour with i popped his fave show on his dvd player and i pop down stairs to make him a quick sandwich…………

as i go to go back up the stairs with his food i notice something …………

in my poorly state and i was really ill but i had gone to bed early if you remember well one very important thing i had forgotten to do was

blow out the candle in the front room,

we have a fancy smelly candle in front room and   i had left it burning ….it occurs to me as i blow it out, that now i know why my son was keeping me up and busy when all i had wanted was sleep, i feel a sudden sense of relief? or panic? probably both at same time because i don’t even want to think of how it could have been if i had gone to sleep, especially because we have just come through a year of hell as a family we lost people very close to us in a house fire last year(no i am still not strong enough to talk about it )

i dash back up the stairs and hug my son and explain to him i think i know why he was sad and i bet he feels better now and he said,’ yes i do mum’ but he doesn’t know why and i tell him why, i tell him he has just saved us all and he is a hero, he saved us because he woke mammy up and made her go down stairs and then i saw the candle and blew it out and i wouldn’t have seen it if it wasn’t for him so he is a hero.

the rest of the night luckily passed by without incident and i had my OCD kick in and spent a lot of time making sure every window was secure doors locked plugs taken out etc but it taught me a lesson and it make me thank my guardian angel for i am sure i have one, that made my son wake me up last night.

have a good day every one and check everything ! specially candles


28 responses

  1. What a night! Is he still feeling proud of himself today? Hope so.

    1. it was a bit of a night 🙂 but no i am afraid his autism stops him from feeling emotions like pride and he doesnt have any concept of time so today is a new day and he is doing his fav thing playing with mario and sonic and he is happy so thats me happy i still will think of him as my hero and i will always appreciate, thank you for your comment and i hope you have a fab day xx

  2. Isn’t it amazing how things work out Kizzylee? So glad that this story had a happy ending!

    1. thank you my friend for your lovely comment and i must admit i need a guardian angel and i often think she is shaking her head exasperated at me but last night really had quite panicked i was so grateful my son needed me thank you lovely for your friendship i hope you have a lovely day xx

      1. I believe they’re all around us, Kizzylee, and they’re ready to help us if we’ll just let them. :-). Be well….

  3. Your son is truly a hero and he’s got an incredibly extraordinary mum…Love to you and your family and I hope today is a better day for everyone..xox

    1. hi mims isnt he just i am so glad but he has taught me a lot over the years i think everyone assumes he taught me patience but really it was my oldest who taught me patience i didnt call her princess for nothing even now she still has ways of teaching patience 🙂 but my son taught me to look at life differently to be grateful of the small things and to have a sense of humour 🙂 today is going well so far got lots of baking done and soon i shall go downstairs and do some of the dreaded formatting i swear if i ever become successful at this writing malarky then i am hiring a formatting person 🙂 hope your day is going well mims xx

  4. Kizzylee, that’s a wonderful story, I’m glad that your son helped you to stay safe in an unlikely way. I’ve had that kind of thing happen with my two sons and candles even — I love to have candles burning.
    We never know how our guardians angels will get our attention! 🙂

    1. hiya karen thank you for your lovely comment and i always need my guardian angel even now it would seem but when i was younger i think i overworked her a bit, i was always ready and eager to jump into situations with both feet i loved to travel and i worked hard and i didnt often stop to think if it sounded like a good idea then i just went for it 🙂 i am so lucky my guardian angel protected me especially when i was travelling, i am very lucky she stayed with me through the years last night doesnt bear thinking about thank you for chatting i hope you have a lovely day xx

  5. Incredible story..and yes, your son is a hero, and you are a wonderful mother for attributing it to him in a way that must have made his little heart so happy! Can’t think of a better way to turn sadness into happiness. Well done, mama, and hope you can get some rest soon. xo

    1. hiya bonnie thank you for such a nice comment i really appreciate your friendship and kind comments i do count myself as very lucky to have such wonderful kids but i am also lucky to have met such lovely friends as yourself here in the bloggy world 🙂 thank you and i hope you have a fab day xx

      1. You know Kizzy, I could not agree more…it has been such a pleasant and wonderful surprise to have met and connected with such lovely people here…like you! I never saw that coming! I hope your day is wonderful need a nice day on your side xo

      2. 🙂 you too Kizzylee…you too! 🙂

  6. Isn’t that just so amazing, kizzy. I’m sure you were so grateful for having to go back downstairs for some food for your son. Guardian angels come in many different guises, and yesterday your son was definitely your guardian angel. 🙂 Hope you’re feeling less pain today, and that your son isn’t sad any more. Hugs to you.

    1. hi thank you for commenting and he stopped being sad as soon as i went back upstairs with his food, i was as i always am very grateful for my guardian angel and the pain is more manageable today thank you for asking 🙂 today my son is very happy he has had a lovely relaxing day as i have i hope your day was equally relaxing and lovely
      thank you for your kind comments have a sweet evening xx

  7. Oh KizzyLee – you have patience I only dream about, you made him feel like a hero when he was down. I will remember this post – your parenting advice is wonderful. Wish I could be the parent you are someday. This post literally makes tears flow down my cheeks.
    Have a wonderful night Kizzy.

    1. thank you for such a lovely comment my friend and really its just the way i look at life and to me he is always a hero but especially that night, that night i will always be grateful for him being a hero,
      thank you for being my friend i hope you have a fab day xx

      1. Please note my current post is soooo not directed at you but other bloggers, that have really not been polite not at all.

      2. it does sound a bit aggressive my friend sometimes people just dont understand ? and sometimes they may not have the confidence or know how to follow what you mean i for one never look at my blogroll it just logs who i like to read and i like to read soooo many blogs i never look at which ones are on there i dont blog for stats i dont look at them and i dont care to ever they mean nothing to me my blog is not in existence for stats, though and i do think there are others who maybe dont as well, if there is a good post then i will reblog as with todays post from rhonda whch moved me to tears, but it usually has to be exceptional, i think my friend you maybe need to be a bit less harsh on yourself you have been concentrating so hard, you need a break maybe? or you need to maybe focus in a new direction? i think newbie bloggers will, like i did, just find their feet as they go along, each blog is unique, hopefully, and each blogger will find their own way, your strength lies in your words of wisdom not directed at newbies but when confronting the life you see around you, the posts you have written that i enjoyed the most is when you are discussing your life, that is what i like to hear, you have a really good sense of humour when you write and you have a good take on life, you set off some good discussions, look at your truths post that though not something i usually read or follow but it got a lot of your friends chatting and you came into your own there, liz my gorgeous friend i do think you have a lot to say and you can say it well but newbies they are like children they dont often realise to be grateful til they have kids of their own 🙂 leave them to play and write us some of your stuff on you and your life, thank you though for putting my mind at rest though, when i first read the post i couldn’t comment as i was afraid, and i didnt want to comment until i had thought very carefully about what i wanted to say and you seemed in such a bad mood, it seemed best to let you calm down a bit then, so my friend i think you should sit down have a cuppa and just breath for a while, then when your mind is clear and free of newbies, then you give us another piece of wisdom that only you can come up with though please no discussion on tv i love my tv 🙂 my friend i sense a feeling of unease in you and i wish i could hold out a hand to you and say i think everything will be alright but i dont know enough about you or your life to feel qualified to say anything just yet, i do want you to know that i am here though as a friend and you can email me anytime i will listen, i am now going to feed the kids i tried not feeding them but they just whinged so i guess feeding them is the way to go 🙂 be well my lovely and be nice to yourself , your friend always kiz xx

  8. Know it’s aggressive Kizzy – but the newbies have to learn. I drove hundreds of hits to this new bloggers site, and he did not comment on my blog, or put me on this new blogroll or even on the “posts I like.”
    The only comments were coming from my site from the blogroll.
    Don’t people understand commen politeness anymore…his blog really wasn’t that great, but I was commenting and he wasn’t responding.
    Oh well, try to help newbies , and that’s what I get, not doing it anymore, that’s for sure. People cannot even be polite in the blogosphere, that’s sad.

    1. it is difficult i know i had one situation recently that had me losing sleep for a couple of days one which i know you will undertstand, i had made a new friend she had a blog that was entirely hard work but i liked her and did my best knowing what little i did of her to be a friend and supportive then for no reason that i know of she started removing my comments each time i would visit and leave lovely messages for her and each time she removed and it broke my heart especially as i didnt know why she would do this i racked my brain trying to find any way i could have inadvertantly upset her but i couldnt i went back through every communication we had and nothing my work came up with zilch but it broke my heart i liked her and i just couldnt understand why suddenly she not only didnt like me but went as far as removing comments i tried to think if i had worded them badly but how badly can you word i miss you i hope you are well? in the end i stopped leaving comments and then she decided to leave i had one last try and this time the message stayed but her reply was so short but i still wouldnt say anything against her i left her with the message i will always be here for her and always be her friend, for that is the best i can hope for i always look for the positive, also i knew she had very difficult times in her life and really i couldnt push her for something i wanted and friendship should always be an offer not a claim staked or a desire professed it should always be an offer , even if it is not reciprocated, i hope you can understand where i am going with this in any given situation, leave them with the knowledge that you offer friendship, it will come back to you and if any situation le\ves you feeling negative if you leave it with the offer of friendship then it is still a positive now dont get me wrong there are some people sent to test us and i have would have cheerfully strangled some people but i am trying to learn to bite my tongue, as i get older it becomes easier and i realise that my life has no room for any ill feeling i walk away from those that cause in the blog world people often magnify some of their character traits, and if that trait was ignorance then your bloke will not even realise he upset you so dont spend your day seething for that just ruins your day spend a little time just relaxing and clearing him from your mind my friend you need a hug and i dont often do them i am a affectionphobe 🙂 i never do them in real life but here just for once is a virtual hug and a virtual cuppa and some of the very best virtual rocky road sit back relax and enjoy let the rest of the day be yours,
      let it belong to you , not him ,

  9. So, I will promote polite bloggers – like Sally, she is a new blogger on my blogroll and sweet as sugar!
    You should visit Sally, her site makes me smile!

  10. Deleted the posts you are right….

  11. I have a sixteen-year-old autistic son and he is amazing. It sounds like your son is too 🙂

    1. life is totally different when you are faced with the idea of a person who does not and cannot see life the way we do my son has changed me and has made me a better person i am grateful for that, it’s not the life i wanted for my son but it is the life my son and i have been given so i do my best,
      you will know more and be more experienced than i am, your son is older so you have been dealing with all this for a longer time than me so i admire your wisdom and as i am still learning and i have to take each day as it comes, thank you for your comment my friend, i really appreciate your friendship and your patience with me as i know i do not always remember details about people but i am getting there 🙂 so if you find you have to tell me things more than once please just shout at me i will get it all on board eventually 🙂 have a great evening xx

  12. Dear Kizzy, I think YOU are the guardian angel! Bless you and your son!

    1. thank you for such a lovely comment my friend i am always grateful every day that i have my four gorgeous kids as i am always happy to have found such lovely friends here on wordpress it still amazes me really i never thought it would become like this i just thought i would start a blog and have a waffle 🙂 so thank you for beeing my friend i hope you have a fab day xx

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