so the marathon of organisation that is getting the offspring back into their various routines has been got under control, and we all heave a sigh of relief at the sheer gorgeousness that is a weekend, with sleeping in and not having to do anything for a whole two fabulous days.
was a good girl on thursday and went to my hospital appointment even though i just felt like running in the opposite direction claiming very loudly that i am fine dont need no doctoring, but the very fact that i cannot actually run, in any direction, belied the fact that i think i am fine because quite clearly i am not, but i plastered on my brave face and went to see nice doctor person,
now none of that sympathy goo you know i dont do sympathy however all donations of get well chocolate are gratefully received.
so in i goes hopping along on me crutches and doctor person is a new bloke and is really nice, even though he does keep stopping me telling him about my pain, he is not interested in my pain, only my numbness and pins and needles, it’s hard though for me to separate things out because its all affecting me, but i try my best, then he sneakily, well i reckon he was being sneaky but he will claim he warned me all about it and even the letter i had told me in detail what would happen, in my mind though one minute he feigns interest in my family then before i know he has attached electrode thingies on me and has proceeded to send nasty electric shocks through, and they bloody hurt! i was not a happy bunny and did consider slapping him every time he shocked me with that machine thingy and then calm as you like enters how much pain i received into his computer.
i said ‘yeah you know that one really hurt’ and he laughs, yes that’s right laughs, and said ‘well i did make sure that one was quite strong because you weren’t responding as i had hoped,’ oh so i was supposed to break down and scream about the pain making my arms jerk and my legs shake huh? ok i will do that next ti-ow that bloody hurt!
after shocking various parts of my body and me planning his murder and would i be able to leave the hospital before anyone noticed i had killed the specialist doctor torturer bloke? he then gets out a set of needles and starts stabbing me all my arms and legs,
after the end of this torture he smiles looks at me and says ‘well the tests confirm exactly what you have been saying mrs——– you definitely have problems with the nerves in your fingers and legs and feet oh and your arm so yes the test show you are right in what you say,’
i managed to somehow contain my answer to this and he goes on ‘I cant actually give you any kind of diagnosis but i can tell you it is not a trapped nerve.’ and with that bombshell i am told to go and come back on sunday for a scan which no doubt will tell me exactly what i have known all along, i have ms, great, still at least you can stop telling me you thinks its parkinsons disease now:) i am amazed at the expertise of the medical world in letting me know that i was right; i am in pain and my limbs dont work.
on the way home hubby says he has decided that because he has worked for the last x amount of years and therefore paid the tax and contributions that come with that i am disabled and it was about time i accepted that and i should make it public and claim disability, until now i had refused to claim anything but i am good at being an optimist and forever thinking i can cope
so doctor says i am right
hubby says i am disabled
yup ok how good is my life
but the one that got me was i went to pick up my youngest from school and she says
“mum how long are you going to have crunches for?”
“forever my sweet i need them to walk”
“but mum when are your legs going to stop falling down?”
and thus my day was complete 🙂
ok i am happy peoples please do not under any circumstances think i am sad,down depressed or any such thing, yeah stuff happens yeah its not all nice but i am happy even with torturer doctor people and hubby and his supportive view,
i am happy because i have four gorgeous kids a chihuahua and an annoying streak of optimism that no matter what you throw at me i will just smile maybe raise an eyebrow but generally just carry on regardless 🙂