a pretty girl, all dressed up nice, wearing a flimsy low-cut figure hugging dress, hair done nice and make up all looking very pretty, yet no one looks twice at her, oh sure they look once and even in that once they would agree she looks good but in that second look we find why she is still alone, for it is in that second look that they realise she is disabled,
or in another situation happily married couple been together a number of years, still got it as they think when each looks in the mirror but they havent slept together for over two years, why? because the wife is disabled.
on a dating site everything is mentioned, how she loves reading and horror movies, how she will hide behind a cushion when watching something scary on the tv or her ocd every night making sure all the doors are locked and the windows closed, her sense of humour and her favourite music, going into such detail she has covered, nearly, everything the one thing she doesn’t mention just yet is the wheel chair, she knows they would like her if they got to know her but none will even bother getting to know her if the wheel chair is mentioned.
so here is my point and being a disabled woman of 46 i find this so very important, we are still women, or young girls or young men please look past our disability and give us a chance, and do not judge who we are around the metal machine that helps us get around, we still want to feel attractive, we still would like others to find us attractive, yes we may have some limits but we could explore those limits, we could have fun before you draw the line, because that’s what happens is people draw the line at the wheelchair and that leaves us out in the cold, there are times we would love to leave the wheelchair and strangely there are times when we do, we too can go to bed just like you, the damn thing is not welded to us you know, there is no sticker on my wheelchair that says no sex please i am disabled! quite the opposite i think i would want a sticker that says forget the chair and take me now, but that just would never happen would it, whther it is argued that people simply are turned off by disbaility or some complex situation where they feel bad or as if they would be taking advantage or some such thing and there are so many areas of disbaility but no matter how complicated there is still a person inside that disability who would like to be loved and often would like to be shown love, i am not here to write a book on how when and where any of this should or should not hapen i am just simply wanting to say please dont dismiss us because of our disability look past it look to the person inside, now i know some disabled people are in love and have a wonderful partner but it is not my experience, in my experience all i come across is the chair first, or crutches as it used to be, yes for those who know me i have now progressed to a wheel chair, but i still want to be seen as attractive, even sexy, and that is never going to happen if you talk to the chair first, i am in here and i would like to think that when i go to bed i am the same as you and if nothing else i would like affection but yes i would like more too
i may disabled
but i am human too
i am a woman
and i feel just like you.