24 responses

  1. Ah, a wheelchair now. How is the house organised for this? And how are you coping with this change?

    1. hiya 🙂 well the house is not sorted for this at all but in the house i can get away with still using my crutches, which is good because not a single part of it would fit a wheelchair but i cant walk for more than a few minutes at a time now so if i have to go out i have to use a wheelchair and thus my adventures begin now i have used a wheelchair before when i had particulary bad attacks but now it is every time i go out that i need to use a wheelchair, and i am hoping i can sell enough books to get myself one that doesnt need a pusher, the one i have at the moment i cant go out unless someone is with me to push it, so my ambition is to sell enough books to buy myself one that i can push myself, hubby thinks i should have an electric one as i am losing the use of my arms and recently lost the use of fingers on both hands now but we simply cannot afford one of them, i would have to sell a small mountain of books 🙂 so i shall work hard on my writing and hope for good luck, thank you for popping by and your comment have a lovely evening xx

  2. awww, Kizzylee, I don’t know what to say, except that you are a beautiful soul, whatever your ‘conveyance.’ I know it’s not the same, but sending you big hugs nonetheless….. xo, l

    1. thank you lovely its so nice to hear from you but please dont worry about me i was just a little vexed at how it is percieved that once a person is labelled disabled suddenly we no longer have any need or desire for sex, i wanted to point out to people that we have the sames needs and desires as able bodied people i understand that a vast amount of people are in empathy with the lot of the disabled person and i appreciate how wonderful people are and my lovely i understand if you dont find me attractive:) but i hope if i open just one persons eyes as to finding their partner still attractive no matter how their body may have changed, then i will be happy, thank you very much my wonderful friend for showing your kind and caring generous nature to me and i very much am grateful for your friendship and i shall always be grateful for your friendship, thank you for coming by and writing your lovely comment that nearly made me cry i might add i hope you have a lovely evening xx

  3. kizz, my heart is in my throat. your strength and your passion and the light that is your very essence shine in your words. if people see the chair first, it’s absolutely their loss, for in my experience, disabilities in one way more often than not, result in profound and greater abilities in others. you deserve all that your heart desires, we all do. never settle love. settling is it’s own disability, one of the few we can control. i have faith you will take control and show the wonderful woman in that chair the respect and love she deserves…and through that, may you find it returned 10 fold.
    xoxo
    R

    1. hiya my gorgeous rhinda 🙂 please my lovely dont worry i am fine getting on with everything as always just was having a little rant because no matter how lovely i make myself look i may as well be wearing a sack 🙂 ahh well i am lucky at least i had all my kids first , but it breaks my heart to see a young girl go through this, wonderful to hear from you rhonda wont be long now 🙂 have a fab evening xx

      1. I don’t worry for your strength my girl, I have complete faith in you AND your kids. If this means you cannot get to London when I am there, just say the word…I will come to you! I’ve missed seeing you too.
        xoxo
        R

      2. london is still on my lovely 🙂

  4. Kizzy, that was an amazing post. My heart goes out to you…

    Truthfully, I’ve never known anyone in a wheelchair. I know someone on crutches and it made me a little self-conscious… for example, I thought, if I hold the door open for him would he appreciate it? Or would he think I don’t believe he’s capable of helping himself?

    Would he be offended if I offered to help? What kind of cold-hearted bastard would i be if I *didn’t* offer to help?

    (And I’ve honestly never openly discussed this with him because that would just be awkward LOL Although I have asked if he’s needed help with something in the past.)

    So I’ve never known anyone in a wheelchair… once or twice in my life I’ve seen a stranger in the street, who happens to be in a wheelchair and also an attractive young woman… and truthfully, I’ve thought, “she’s nice,” just as I have with almost any other attractive woman. I’ve never tried to “chat her up” if only because, frankly, I’ve always been crap at chatting up the ladies and would be too shy to try that with any “able bodied” women…

    …but the chair wouldn’t put me off, honestly. I wouldn’t pity them. I wouldn’t think they were desperate. I wouldn’t think I’d stand a better chance or that they would be more likely to stick with me, for fear of not being able to meet someone else. I’d do my best to treat them the same as anyone else.

    I guess it’s easy to say all this but that’s honestly how I feel 🙂

    1. hiya excellent to hear from you 🙂 its been a while what with all your travels and stuff 🙂 and i must say thank you for you make me realise with your comment that maybe i should do another post to help people unsure about how to help i thank you for being kind and i know you are a good person and most people are sweet and kind i was in this post addressing the idea of being considered sexy 🙂 its just a thing i have right now i think though that i can see both sides now and i realise there is probably a whole series of blog posts i could do 🙂 its nice also to hear your view because its nice to hear a mans view of things so thank you for this too, i guess with your friend i dont know them but i know i happily welcome talking about practical things, like to me if i had both hands full of say shopping in bags then i would not feel bad about asking someone to open a door for me, and the same way in helping someone on crutches or in a chair they basically have their hands full and so it is always nice to offer, i know i need that help and i am always grateful when i recieve it, i know that not everyone is open to talking about whatever ails them but it is always nice to offer to help they can say no if they are not comfortable ,the main fact is you offered 🙂 i will let you open doors for me any time 🙂 to be honest being in a chair scares me and i think if i am honest part of that was in this post i am scared not just that i will lose my identity but my attractiveness and i guess thats why i wrote it for no matter how much we say looks dont matter they clearly do, and it is even important with our own self image, i feel a bit more positive today 🙂 but i guess i am stuck in anyways because i cannot afford my new chair yet and dont have anyone to push my other one so i best get on with some writing ! thank you for coming by and your brilliant comment tc 🙂

      1. You’re welcome – I’m glad I was able to help 🙂 I’m looking forward to reading future posts on the subject 🙂

        You wrote something in your reply that stuck in my head a little… when people say “looks aren’t important” – clearly that isn’t true, as you said. After all, you have to be physically attracted to someone in order to have a true physical relationship with that person.

        That being the case, I think it would be truer to say “Looks aren’t as important as people believe” – personality, ideals, beliefs, likes/dislikes…. all these things can make or break a relationship too! 🙂

  5. Kizzy, I don’t quite, no, I do not have words worthy of what you so bravely, openly, courageously shared with all of us. What a truly beautiful soul you are. And what a gift of writing, your blog, your stories, for it is YOU we see, hear and notice, and nothing else. xo brave friend.

    1. thank you my lovely friend for what is surely one of the nicest comments i have ever had thank you i very much appreciate your friendhsip and truly lovely comment, hope you have a wonderful weekend xx

  6. kizzylee, what a beautiful post! Just in the short period I’ve been reading your blog I already admire you, and reading this just makes me admire you even more. xx

    1. hello my lovely friend and thank you for reading and for leaving me your lovely comment, i am glad you lke it here it is important to me that my blog is real and genuine and written from my heart even though as with this post sometimes it is painful, this post has been bullying me to write it for a while now but i was worried how people would take it, in the end i had to write in the hope that just one husband or boyfriend out there reads it and goes home and sees his partner as a sexy woman again irregardless of any challenges she might face, if this happens then i am happy, if it happens to me i will be ecstatic 🙂 and i will try my best to restrain myself from writing a celebratory post 🙂 as it happens my oldest child paid me such a wonderful compliment tonight that i am feeling really happy right now and i will have to share said comment in a little post because i always have to share the good times 🙂 so thank you for being my friend and for stopping by for a chat its lovely to hear from you and i hope we chat again tc xx

  7. Dear Kizzy, this was such a fine piece of writing, so well expressed, and so important for people to understand. Thank you for sharing this with, as usual, your open heart and free spirit.

    1. hi and thank you dearest naomi for leaving such a gorgeous comment it does mean a lot to me and this subject was very close to my heart some things i have to talk about they just bubble up out of me and i have to say them, i still worry i always do but i have to say whats on my mind, which is why facebook is terrible for someone like me it always says whats on your mind and i am like ok have you got an hour or three? and the darn fb only gives you like twenty charcters to write it all in ! how bad is that ? this is why i am so glad i came to the blog world not only have i met some truly wonderful people but i get to waffle on to my hearts content 🙂 i couldn’t ask for more really 🙂 hope you have a gorgeous day xx

  8. Kizzy one of my best friends was severely disabled, she was also one of the sweetest human beings I have ever met. She’d joke about the sex issue, actually she was quite saucy about it, to her male “caregivers” she’d flirt in an acceptable manner and tell them they didn’t know what they were missing and so on, and then she’d whisper to me when they’d leave “He’s so hot, don’t you think?” We (in society today) tend to judge the exterior, and it’s really too bad, because it doesn’t really mean much in the long run. Totally about what’s inside and Kizzy – you’ve got what it takes! Don’t forget this not for a nano-second my friend! Penny

    1. thank you pen i love this comment its good to know there are some positive and confident people out there i imagine your friend faced much more difficult challenges than me and i shouldn’t moan, i just have a problem with confidence in the first place and that coupled with a lack of attention can sometimes get me down, i also am still adjusting to this phase of my life and i am the first to admit sometimes i have difficulty finding my new role my new self image in my head i haven’t caught up, less than 2 years ago i was running marathons for charity and i regularly did a lot of sporting activities i am not even allowed swimming now and cant even walk never mind run but my head will catch up eventually i just didn’t want the last part of myself to disappear, and that’s where the attractiveness comes in i guess i would just like to think i could still be attractive but i have my kids and i am happy so i have no right to whinge about anything, i hope though that this post would help in some small way to help someone younger who faces challenges but still needs to find that confidence in themselves, thank you again for stopping by have a lovely evening xx

      1. You also. Kizzy, life seems to enjoy throwing challenges at us that are inconcieveable in the moment. You are very brave and it shines through your words and your attitude about your family, yourself and others. Your words do make a difference, this I know. Always a pleasure when I visit you, hang on, hang in, and take care as best you can – I know you will my friend, Penny 🙂 xox

  9. Beautifully expressed, well said 🙂

    1. thank you thats very nice of you to say i appreciate your stopping by to comment and for such a lovely comment to ^_^ have a great day

  10. Thank you for coming by my blog. It gave me an opportunity to get to know you… though I’m still trying… and don’t think I know you very much at all, yet. I’m sorry you don’t put a picture of your face on your blog, because that would be a very nice introduction… I have known many people in my life, among them, people who were physically disabled. But I can tell you that many people are disabled in one way or another… often in ways that are not obvious to a stranger, just giving them a look from across the room. The better we get to know someone, the more important their strengths are, and their personality, and their heart and soul… and the less important, the weaknesses and the disabilities. All the more so when someone has found the right way for him or her to overcome those disabilities… I can tell you straight away, though, I won’t be reading any of your books, because horror stories are really not my taste in fiction. But I do like your writing style, and hope to get to know you better.

    1. i am so sorry i did not see this earlier lodged on my spam it never got checked thank you very much for leaving me such a nice comment , i address your point of picture- i do not like to use my picture for reasons that are all basically to do with my son he is severely autistic if i were ever lucky enough to make it as an author i have to do so under the idea of non promotion of my image he could not cope with anyone recognising me and i have to respect that, he has enough challenges in life without me adding to them, but really you are not missing much i am average eight white brown hair nondescript English woman, i could easily be lost in a crowd, see nothing to be bothered about ^_^ if you really wish to foster an image to latch on to my favourite character of all time is Alice simply imagine Alice, the hole, and the rabbit and you got me, i am quintessentially english as a cucumber sandwich and cold tea on a rainy afternoon ^_^ secondly i address your reading of my books hey don’t worry about it i hate having to read romance and will only do so under force of punishment or lack of anything else to read ^_^ we are all different and i would like to think you are a friend without restriction based on your reading preferences, i do not judge therefor i can like you even if you read nothing but western cowboy romances ^+^ i just like making friends and i hope you will be one of them i hope you have a fab day

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