did i ever tell about the time…..?

ok so I am sat here in bed and I  just know its a no writing book, day for me, I think it’s because I wrote over 8000 words on it yesterday,  😉 I think I over worded myself or something,

so then I thinks to myself hmm I should do a post, I could write a lovely post saying how much I love my WordPress family, I seriously met some truly gorgeous people on here, and yes I have met a few that try to bully me too, but I thank them, yup really, because even though they were mean and rude I have to thank them, for firstly making me appreciate my gorgeous WordPress family, for every bully I have at least thirty friends on here so that’s cool, each time they send a mean comment I get a heap load of sweet and lovely comments, and secondly I have to thank them because it made me a better writer, I have this slightly insane way of dealing with, what may be termed bad press, well they do say any press is good press, but what I do is; whatever they had a go at me for I then become twice as good as I was before, if not bloody perfect, so then they have no fuel for next time, or at least they have to find something new, so this made me a better writer thank you, and thirdly it means I am like becoming someone who is known enough to have haters 🙂 coolio, yeah I am old, I can use words like coolio and still fool myself into thinking I am cool :),

so no I am not going to write a post about mushy stuff on how wonderful my WordPress family are, oh and by the way I count anyone who follows/friends me anyone who ever commented, in fact any one who will listen, as my WordPress family, see how big my family just got ? 🙂

so then I thought I could do one of them oh hey lets all do the author thing, I could write stuff like being an author is the only job where you need positive encouragement for each working day, you know like I don’t ever go in the corner shop saying “oh my god that’s brilliant shopkeep , absolutely wonderful shopkeeping , keep going! keep doing what you’re doing my man,” do I? or I don’t go in the bank and say, ” that piece of banking you did there was just superb! I really felt it you know, please bank more I just love the way you bank!”, see what I am saying here? perhaps other authors aren’t like me, they probably aren’t, I am quite used to not fitting in anywhere, nope, no where, so me I live, I thrive on positive encouragement,  I fall into the oh my god I am a crap writer thing nearly every day and especially every time I birth a new book, I love the book, I laboured and birthed it, but will anyone else love it? and I live from each nail biting minute waiting desperately for some one to say “hey that’s was good keep writing,” see how that works? I need the encouragement , all the time, but heck I digress because; no I was not going to write an authorly post, see I told you I wasn’t in an authorly mood today  nope I am in a rambling waffling mood, oh lucky you :), so poor reader here we go 🙂

did I ever tell you about the time I deliberately burnt down my house?

no? ok many, many moons ago I was young, yup happens to the best of us, some who know me, may well know back when I was young, and we are talking about ermm 19, I think at the time I am waffling on about, and I was quite political, I lived outside of mainstream society, I lived on a ‘island,’ not a real island so to speak, it was in Amsterdam and it was a harbour and I lived there and we all squatted the place, yup in between the warehouses on the actual harbour we put up caravans, tents, houses, and at first my first husband and I lived in a tent and mostly starved, the kind charities of the Hara Krishna kept us alive with a free meal each day in the main square in front of central station, so at this time I am young fiercly independent, except the needing food bit, and living a life that itself could have books written about, but I am here to tell you of one day in particular, after the tent bit we built a shack type arrangement, it was a little one room wooden home, we built using wood we found lying about and nails we found in old fire pits, and i eventually got a job as a chamber maid and this life was just generally chuntering along, and the night before was strange, very odd feeling, the rumour had run round the camp the police were going to ‘disperse’ us the next day, it was odd, very disquieting, none of us knew if it was true, a few had moved on, but some of us die-hards were still there, plus we had nowhere to go, I was liking having a job and I worked hard , yes I know it was at odds being both within the system and living outside of it at the same time, I paid all my taxes and contributions yet I lived as a squatter, so that’s me; I am full of contradictions 🙂 aint no labelling me 🙂 so that night =not good, and even weirder all the wildlife left, on the harbour there was obviously rats and they were bloody huge! and this night was so quiet because they all left, it was like being in a horror movie, but the next morning came and sure enough bright and early we hear bulldozers, they simply sent the bulldozers in and they didn’t even give people time to get out of the house/caravan / tent they just rolled over it, now some of you may be shouting al sorts of things like dirty squatters they deserved it, but as I said I worked, paid my taxes, and worse there were others there with children, little children, the police stormed the place, with tear gas, bulldozers, guns, you name it, they came in and trashed us, the TV crews followed them and proudly showed their utter destruction of our homes, because we lived at the far end we got slight warning, we saw the other homes destroyed first, I had already bought a caravan and quickly loaded it up with what I could, I just threw stuff in, then I saw a police woman beat up my young friend not even sixteen, it was shocking and I kind of got emotional, I ran over and said I would document everything and why was she doing this? he was not protesting, he was not doing anything but cowering under her punches, and truncheon, anyway she ignored me and in my heightened emotional state I got all kind of ‘right well they are not going to wreck my home because I shall take it first its my home I built it and I will not give them the satisfaction of destroying it, I took matches and petrol poured it in the door and set it alight, it went up really well, and the TV caught it all and I was in the paper on the front page and that didn’t really go down well at work, but hey ho what am I going to do, the end of that day saw the whole place wiped out and they took our caravan,  just took it! hitched it up to some van thing and went off well I had a bike for going to work and i followed them all down the motorway, I was working on some freaky adrenaline , no I do not smoke or drink or do any kind of drugs, thank you , before you make any judgements about me; the lifestyle I was living was a political choice not a recreational one, so there I was pedalling along after this van shaking my fist shouting ‘where you stealing my van? where you taking it?’ they dumped it miles away, next to a toxic waste dump,  how ridiculous is that? they took them all, so the tiny few of us that survived this experience, quite a few just kind of went and lived on the streets so how clever was that instead of having us all in one place now they had the streets covered in homeless people, lived there and many more adventures happened but they are for another time, so there ya go the time I burnt down my house 🙂

sweet dreams everyone 🙂

warning this post may self destruct in the morning

it all depends on if i still feel good about it when i wake up 🙂

it is a law a anyone owning a Che Guevara tshirt can at any time rebel against the establishment

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10 responses

  1. What a scary night. Hope nobody got seriously hurt.

    1. hiya to be honest i will never know it was quite a big place and a lot of us lived there too many for me to know even half of them, so i will never know what happened to a lot all i know is the very few that where left numbered about twenty people from over a thousand and even though i was clean hard working and didnt indulge in any party life style i was in a minority i know a few who did and one an australian called jennifer i know died i never saw her after this but because i was only told she had died and they didnt say what of or why i will never know if it was related but she and her boyfriend were so far gone down the road of drugs it broke my heart to see her, it was a night and day that remains scracthed into my brain and changed me, i had grown in in middle class england i had trusted the police of any country implicitly that this kind of behaviour was such a shellshock, i still foster within my children a belief in them as a force of protection though and i am encouraging my oldest to enrol in becoming a police officer so it did not turn me militant 🙂 life brings with it all sorts i find and as such i try to go with the flow a lot thank you for calling by and chatting have a great day xx

  2. Ah Kizzy, so many stories and wonder in your life. Each post is a new amazing insight, underscoring your irrepressible spirit, incredibly special voice and light touch (not speaking about setting the fire per se – this was more figurative)…xox

    1. hiya mims 🙂 yes i have lived quite a few lives in this one life i accept 🙂 and yes i have seen more than one side of life i guess its why i have a balanced view of life and why i have patience and understanding i have seen too many people go through too many things and had a few happen to myself so i guess it leaves one older than my 46 years but sometimes i get to a point where i am just happy at home with my kids i did all my adventuring before i had them so i was more than ready to settle down, glad to hear from you and hope your having a restful day xx

  3. Interesting story, kizzylee. Holy shit.
    Also, “yeah I am old, I can use words like coolio and still fool myself into thinking I am cool”…I do that all the time.

    1. hiya impy 🙂 yup i know i have lost count of the times people who have met me in real life i dont tend to tell much in virtual lie but last night i thought ah go on then 🙂 but in real life i know so many people i hide 🙂 and they all say i should write a book of my life well i couldn’t for lots of reasons a lot of what i have been through is actually too painful to write about but even the snippets like this which now seem sureal and amusing in later years well i would have to write a series of books it would not all fit into one , plus to be honest i lived it i don’t fancy reliving it 🙂 i prefer to write horror stories so i do 🙂 thank you for popping by and chatting have a great day xx

  4. Kizzylee, you are truly one of a kind–in the best sort of way! 🙂

    1. thank you lovely 🙂 i am often told i am unique 🙂 thank you for calling by and commenting always lovely to hear from you take care and have lovely evening xx

  5. It’s official. just fell in love with you all over again! Simple as that.
    xoxo

    1. hiya gorgeous thank you and sending you great big crap hugs

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