no no i’m ok -sigh-

or

your son still loves you even if you got it wrong

my son is ten and severely autistic as I have explained in the past, however we communicate well considering our situation and I treasure every moment I have with him as I do all my kids- even like when today he comes home proudly showing me what he has made that day at school-he attends a special needs school, he doesn’t learn the normal curriculum but does a special set of lessons which is mostly arty, today he came home with various projects along the lines of cardboard and paper creations which after a certain of explaining one can understand what they are.

The next creation he showed me was a tiny decoration made from some kind of plastic, it was pretty and small maybe to go on a christmas tree, rectangular in shape about 3 inches with a tiny pattern on it of  what looked like two butterflies and the word ‘ mam‘ on it all drawn in my sons wonderful style and I was so happy and proud and well it was one of those wonderful –i’m a mum and so full of love for my wonderful children-moment.

ok so you get the picture I am sat wiping proud happy tears from my eyes and son doesn’t register this- because of his autism he does not recognise emotions nor understand them its a concept he does  not get, so he is carrying on with his explanation of his day and part way through runs to the toilet – another thing he does not quite have the hang of yet but is doing well- and in doing so drops the tiny decoration with mum on it.

Son comes back and finishes off his recounting of the day and gathers up his various creations; he gives me all the paper cardboard ones saying I can keep them, he does not give me the tiny one and I say “I love these son I really do, but can I also have the tiny one that says mum as well? I love that one the best”

Son looks very confused at me looks around and say he didn’t make one with mum on it, I point to the tiny one and say “that one its lovely and says mum across the bottom under the butterflies” I am proudly pointing to the tiny one my face all shining with love etc etc

Son looks at me oddly again and then comes over to my bed and shows me the tiny decoration and turns it on its side and says”it doesn’t say mum it says ‘egg man’ duh from Mario!”

and slowly I get it my son is obsessed with all things Mario and Sonic (two computer game characters, egg man is one of their foes) the tiny decoration when put on its side the butterflies were in fact the two g’s from the word egg man and mum was the man bit, so it was not as I thought but in fact my sons rendering of the words ‘egg man‘ in fancy writing.

My face did that clever mum thing you know the one where you smile and still show the love and pride but inside you crumble as you realise you got all soppy about something that was not at all what you thought

oh well my son is happy and healthy and I know in his own way he loves me and even of he didn’t it wouldn’t matter and wouldn’t stop me loving him^_^

but  I may still hang it sideways on my tree and tell people it says mum with butterflies

I will get away with it as long as he doesn’t hear me ^_^

love to all have a wonderful day

xx

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7 responses

  1. Of course he loves you Kizzy – you’re his mum. Got me all teared up now.

    1. aww honey don’t worry i know my son inside and out and i know he loves me i may be the only person in the world he likes or will talk to but i know how he works and i don’t worry, there are many other things i do worry about his future for one thing- that loses me many nights sleep -but i try not to let him see any of my worries, children are only children for a short time and i try my best to let them be children and have fun and no worries, he is right now happy eating and indulging in his obsession of looking up mario and sonic on the interwebby ^_^ soon he will go to bed happy and as long as he is happy then i am happy ^_^ so now you have to be happy too i don’t want to worry about you as well ^_^ so hugs and love to you my friend xx

  2. You are now officially the best “egg mum” ever! Beautiful story Kizz…xo

    1. aww thank you my gorgeous rhinda i love that ‘egg mum’ i shall keep that one ^_^ love and hugs to you my wonderful friend xx

  3. Awwwwwwwwwwww. Maybe Mum is just a good ‘egg’, huh? Heartwarming story. 😉

    1. aww thanks, my son has not long gone to bed and before he went he popped his head round my door and asked if he had broken my heart -as i said he does not understand emotions but he doesn’t like it if i am unhappy – so i promised him i was happy and not to worry and if he wanted to he could make me a decoration that did say mum but he shook his head and said no he had already made one and that was enough, ahh well the night is quiet and all my children are asleep now and so i will sleep too i think and see what tomorrow brings have a lovely evening and thanks for dropping by take care x

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