Ne Timeas?

having just read of fear and how it can hold people back, I was struck immediately of how easy it seemed for the writer to see life in such simple terms, yes some people don’t do things because they are afraid of the consequences, but life is never that black and white, it is never in my experience a simple a+b=c, usually a is squared and b wont stick around and c is always something unexpected! and I was good at algebra ^_^ it doesn’t help, and it fact it makes people like me kind of spit our coffee out and make some kind of harrumph noise,

if you live a life where there is only you to take into account, great, you go around making all the assumptions you want but it will only be something you can assume about you, never assume that because you see someone else being afraid to take the plunge that it is as simple as just taking the plunge, in my life I have faced and dealt with far more than most people ever have to or even read about and in every situation I had to take into account not just my feelings and the outcome on my life there was always other people involved

and even if there were a simple case lets just take a really simple case of my fear of spiders lets also look at the time when a young girl of no more than 15 in her own rather misguided way thought she would help me conquer that fear by shoving a spider in my face, the consequent meltdown I suffered and by association so did she, because it was her I melted down on, soon taught her that it is never simple, you might think now that she was on the right track and simple de- sensitisation programme may help, WRONG, I can say it again if you want but would you listen? no, perhaps though if you were to take a look into why I had a fear of spiders then just maybe you would understand it is nothing simple, never has been never will be, and yes I have had counselling it was rubbish and even now I am against counselling it just makes things worse , oh don’t get me wrong I am sure there are people out there that counselling works for but as in my earlier and only point it is never that simple

in another simple case which really was simple  nowhere near as complicated as the spider thing which is so bad i actually hate even typing the word, I forced myself one time to go on a motorbike and was pleasantly proud of myself for doing it and being successful, great, did my fear of being mangled in a motorbike accident go away? no, but I can say I once rode a motorbike ,

now looking at my life no matter what happens or what fears I have and yes those fears influence situations and in fact most everything I do, and I am glad they do because those fears keep my kids safe, those fears keep my family together, those fears meant that the decisions I made before and that I make now mean that my kids grow up knowing who their mum is and seeing both their mum and dad and we all live together as a happy family, my kids have a roof over their head and food in their bellys and they are safe, so some fears serve a purpose and I believe it is right to have them and to listen to them, only in the most simple basic situation that involves no one else can anyone make simple decisions, but for the rest of us that live real lives that frequently involve many others we need those fears and they are healthy fears to have, and there are many types of fears some are really complicated such as my spiders one jeez can i stop typing that bloody word, some are rooted so deep down it becomes a matter of life and death, some fears are so complicated and ingrained that the best thing anyone can do is leave well alone and certainly not come out with trite phrases like oh you should take the plunge live a little, and if they choose to come out with such a phrase near me I can only promise one thing- that I shall really try to walk away instead of punching them in the face. Don’t worry I am quite good at counting to ten ^_^

life is complicated

people are complicated

never make assumptions, especially where fear is involved

fear is complicated

it is a good general rule to not judge others,

let it also be remembered that no one should judge other people by their fears either

and no matter how well meaning you think you are being just stop and only proceed if you are trained and even then only if you are approached by the person seeking help

course as for me I am generally pretty nice if you choose not to shove ugly critters in my face ^_^

kizzy lee packs away her podium and waves goodbye

love to all

xx

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3 responses

  1. You sure know how to make a point. Like a lady. 🙂

    1. ^_^ i hope so, i guess one of my main annoyances is when i see someone picking on a weaker person, using their fears against them, especially when they paint themselves as the better person simply because they don’t have the same fears, we all suffer some kind of fear and if it was really this simple then psychiatrists would be out of a job ^_^ good to hear from you as always and as always i am right in the middle of cooking biscuits this time so i best go back to the kitchen before they burn ^_^ have a super sunday take care love and hugs xx

      1. Is that always the way life is? The bully picking on someone weaker. How I hate that.

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