how to regain confidence in writing
well it kinda goes like this as usual i was having a minor fit about being rubbish at writing i have a little do with myself every so often usually after i have done a heap load of writing and this was no different i managed to get book one finished of my four part trilogy – a nod to my hero mr douglas adams there ^_^ – and as you do i had a minor breakdown after it thinking who on earth is going to want to read this? is it even worth going ahead and publishing, editing and all that nightmare, for me it was difficult to see a place for my writing in this world, i suffer from thinking everything fabulous has already been written and i have no idea of whether my stories have a place in the literary world,
i do what i always do and removed myself from my writing i put it away and took time out i played with kids i took my youngest out on a couple of day trips she attends a catholic school which is a fab school but it does mean she gets different holidays to others so she was off and the only one at home with me so i took her for some girly shopping bonding time mixed with a visit to the park and ice cream bar ^_^ anyway a couple days into my enforced time out from writing and yup another story hit me when asleep, i had the most excellent dream! i have written it down to turn into a story and another came to me so there i was i already have a small mountain of ideas and half books -i force myself to finish one before starting another or i would have half finished stories everywhere- but this means my small mountain grew a bit bigger and i panicked a bit more do i write all these ideas? do i just think ahh they are only dreams stories who would be interested am i too influenced by things i watch listen to etc?
so i played music as you know i am hugely into music i never play it when writing but when i want to relax, dream, or just cut out the constant chatter in my brain, then music saves me and lo and behold i found my new latest crush ^_^ blush^_^ yup i found little barrie and fell so completely in love with that gorgeous and fabulously talented barrie cadogan damn mr devil man when you gonna let me marry this guy ^_^ anyway i got a little sidetracked there ^_^ and yes i know i do still have a fondness for mr stockdale but heck he is but a dream and well barrie is just gorgeousness on legs so back to my epiphany
i was listening to and drooling over the fabulous mr barrie super guitar gorgeous man and it kind of clicked both wolfmother-my previous love and now little barrie – my current love- have come along in recent years i believe wolfmother first played back in 2000 and not much later i think around 2004 maybe 2005 came little barrie so both these play the music that i die for, the music that makes me shiver when i listen, and they did it now , if i think back i once wrote a post lamenting the state of music today i was upset i thought music today had lost its voice
and i was wrong!
completely wrong! i have found so much new and superb music and of course i have fallen in love a few times – its a weakness i have- and then it occurred to me how much different is it when i worry about writing? and i worry that everything has been written! if there can be new and super music that gives people like me shivers then surely there can be new and super stories! there can and don’t call me shirley ^_^ so yes i have had myself a little epiphany along with a few crushes ^_^ so i felt good again i know some people out there like what i write and that is enough to know even one person likes it is great and really i would probably still write even if no listened but it is nice knowing that there is a place for me in the world of fiction and that is enough for me,
also i think i have a poltergeist kitchen
no honestly! i swear right i go in to my kitchen normal kitchen right cupboards, pots that need washing etc just as it all should be right okay, so then i go do something i dunno watch telly or something right, obviously the kids are in and out they like to graze and constantly wonder in the kitchen seeing what we have, – which is great if it isn’t mortgage week ^_^ gotta pay the mortgage man need a house to live in!, so anyways i goes back to kitchen like an hour later and lo and behold every single door to the cupboards is open! yup everyone one of them blighters open and every single surface is covered in packets, food, etc, now it wasn’t like that when i left it, hmmmm, so i shut all cupboard doors and do a quick general tidy, off i go again upstairs do stuff come back down and yup you guessed it every single door to every cupboard open! every drawer everything open! and yup every surface covered ! hmmm now i reckon its got to be poltergeists at work because it wasn’t me and surely it wasn’t the kids,hmmmm, no, definitely poltergeists ^_^
have a great day everyone and be careful you never know where those pesky poltergeists will strike next although i have a sneaking suspicion they have been in my bathroom, there appears to be towels all over the floor, and the shower is running all by itself, and yes i know the fact that my daughter is now blow drying her hair is a bit of a coincidence but i reckon i may get ghosthunters in see if they can get to the bottom of it,
love to all