oh my god I have a drink problem!
now before all of you start muttering things like ‘yay she is normal after all,‘ I have to point out I do not smoke, I do not do drugs (unless my doc gives them to me and even then I whine about it ^_^) and I most certainly never imbibe alcohol, think I only talk about this so I had an excuse to use the word imbibe, I mean come on that is one seriously cool word ^_^ so the drink problem thing then? well its like this every time I lift a cup/glass/beaker/any kind of drinking implement to my mouth nine times out of ten I am either distracted I am so very easily distracted honestly I need a warning label on me, something along the lines of danger this woman is distr………. has the attention span of a gnat………….oh looky there is a………..- or I am multitasking something I am always trying to do and failing miserably at, as multitasking just means one or more of those things I am multitasking at will fail usually all of it I just generally fail, or I am simply not with it, see that dreamy far away look in my eyes it says it all I am usually always somewhere else anywhere else than here in this reality-there really is too many different realities to consider, and so every time said drinking implement is near my mouth it somehow enters a time slip or another dimension I don’t know I just know I miss, my mouth, completely
take last night for instance I decided-I do suffer a little from ocd and I do understand that may be a little bit of an understatement, so back to last night I gets to bed but get up again as I think no my mouth still not feeling fresh enough (it’s usually this or checking five hundred times if I locked the door) yup I scrubbed my teeth, yup I swilled mouthwash but if you know me at all you know I have two types of mouthwash, sometimes three, but my two main types one germ killing frenzy, one fresh breath so good your tongue goes numb after, and so I gets to bathroom but there is no light in bathroom I guess the amount to put in cap and proceed – to spilling an overfull cap of super fresh not a germ in sight mouthwash all over my nightie and it’s so bad i have to get changed into clean nightwear
the simple pleasures of a ponytail
see my hair, sigh, I have a very much love /hate relationship with my hair some days I love it mostly on the days where my oldest – who is a hairdresser – does it and it looks all lovely, see any other day? I mostly hate it, and it’s been this way all my life, but there is one simple thing that I enjoy each day with my hair and it may sound basic to you but hey it’s my life and the little things are what keep me going you know, so each day I have to cook; I have various offspring that insist on being fed, I try to tell them it’s such an outmoded fashion and really they could learn to cook or better yet takeaway that’s always good, isn’t it, no?’ darn at this point usually I have to cook and I hate cooking really I do, I just end up doing because not only do my kids love me cooking-god knows why I burn most things and have no patience with the rest to the point if it looks done I serve it; even if the chicken still pecks ya know, but I have this thing where I simply don’t trust others at cooking, I have a clean thing, yup that’s a real thing right there, you see I hate any form of unclean and worse germ type thing anywhere near food, and because I cannot guarantee how clean other people are I have to cook, and one of the clean things I obsess about is hair, I swear I cannot eat a meal if I find a hair in it, the whole thing goes in the bin, and here is where my hair comes in because every day I cook so every day I have to tie my hair up – no honestly I really hate it makes me feel sick to see a hair in food and I have a pet hate of when watching tv and they haven’t tied their up I have to simply have to shout at the tv about how gross they are- shudders- so then my hair is tied up in the said ponytail and now the simple pleasure bit……………..ok are you ready?…………..right I like to swish my ponytail ^_^ yup and more than this I love the feeling on my back on my hair swishing on that ponytail, it’s kind of like hey look it how long my hair is now I can feel my hair like half way down my back whhooooeee my hair is getting so long and I love it ^_^
yeah I know I could just grow my hair long but you really don’t know me if you said that because I don’t have the patience to grow it long, it gets fairly longish like shoulder length then I end up cutting it off, it either it does my head in looking scruffy and straggly or and here’s another thing about me
when something bad happens in my life I cut my hair off, okay now I am sure there is some perfectly feasible and common sense sounding reason for this but I don’t want to hear it, I do it because to me the bad stuff is in my hair I cut it off bad stuff gone so argue about that one psychologists ^_^
I like to believe
okay I don’t just mean one thing here, I was born an optimist, some sweet people who look at my life and sit astounded muttering about how a person should not have to suffer that much crap in one lifetime then start preaching at me about how I am a survivor or can they use me as a case study – I find ignoring them works quite well but in a sense they are right, I am after all still here so I must have survived, but I prefer the idea of I don’t let shit get me down because to me that’s them winning you see and I have a strong competitive streak ^_^ not really against others though that sometimes surfaces but no mostly with myself, and I won’t let anyone who gave me crap win, now how do I win through all this crap? belief, yup obviously I have a strong belief in myself as a person but that is not what gets me through, no, I have an unshakable talent in believing well all sorts of stuff really, take one for instance which I won’t go into in any great depth but suffice it to say I was living in a very difficult situation with three tiny children (a baby a toddler and a six year old) and no support at all, in fact those sources I would have normally looked to for support just let me down completely and made it worse, the life of my children was threatened and that in any mothers book is fighting talk, so I had to somehow remove my babies from this hell on earth and I had no money and no foreseeable means of remedying any of it,
but as I have often found sometimes you throw yourself open to the universe or god if you are that way inclined for me it is the universe and sometimes if you are lucky the universe gives you something back, of course you need to remain open so that you can actually recognise what it is that is thrown to you and in this particular case I had visited my mother see that how bad it was I resorted to visiting my mother not that she helped she just didn’t have any inclination of how to be a mother never mind a supportive helpful person, nope she failed at all these things quite spectacularly but I digress I did not visit her for long, usually five minutes was enough to remind why I never visited her and on the way out I noticed lots of boxes all filled with books and one book in particular caught my eye and I asked what she was doing with them, her reply of just throwing them away made me ask if I could have some of them, she didn’t really like the idea she hated just about everything right up until someone wanted it then she would adopt a sudden love for that thing she was previously discarding, but I was a little persistent and so she begrudgingly let me have a couple.
later when I had put the babies to bed and the husband had done his usual shout at me and storm off for the night I settled down to look at the books and one of them was all about feng shui, well it couldn’t hurt could it, plus I have told you I have a talent for believing in things, so I did what the book said, I put stuff in places, I changed rooms around and in the space of a week I had put the house up for sale, within a month or two the house was sold and we moved to a better part of town, so I became the most avid believer in feng shui
and this leads to another thing about me ^_^
because of my belief in feng shui I have a thing about numbers, in the feng numbers have meanings and here we have something you may not agree with but heck that’s cool I bet you have foibles too- but my thing about numbers means that if for instance a post is put up I read it on the reader and decide hey good post I liked reading that, I go to click the like button but oh no hang on its got six likes already and I absolutely cannot be number seven because that’s bad feng, you see so no matter how good that post is; it could be the best post ever written in the history of blogkind but I will not click like because I cannot be number seven ^_^
which brings me on to another thing about me, if I read a post and the subject matter is something I cannot abide, then again no matter how well written I cannot click like, lets say a blogger I really like puts up a post about the death of a young girl and the post is written beautifully and is in fact a way better post than I could write I cannot click like because I have three young daughters and I am therefore super sensitive about any harm befalling any young girl so I cannot bring myself to consider clicking like of the death of a young girl I will sometimes write a comment saying how well written it is but I cannot like the idea of a young girl dying
oh my god I am so easily distracted by my boobs! constantly! I could be in a shop just standing waiting to be served and there they are my boobs and more than this my cleavage! wowser,
I suppose it’s because for like all my young adult life yup that’s a thing nowadays; no more teenager then adult all growed up and all, now there is pre-teens, teenagers, young adult, then bam you’re fully an old person might as well get me pension now ^_^ although I am pretty sure the term young adult was invented by book publishing companies so they had a target audience for paranormal love stories, so through my years of say 14 to about 29 I had like no boobs, I hated it, I would dream of having enough money to have a boob job done, yup I would go inflate those disappointing chest decorations of mine, but luckily I never had any money, I felt kind of annoyed because my mother had enormous, pendulous, great heaving bosoms, she had those you could tie them round her knees kind of bosom and I figured that would be the only good point about being in any way related to her but no nature or maybe it was my mother? maybe she wasn’t my mother but that’s a story for another time, so either way I had nothing flat as a ironing board they used to say in these ‘ere parts, but lo and behold I grew some! yup I was lucky in that I had always planned to begin having children around the age of thirty, I knew I would be too free spirited until then, I had to be at an age where I felt I was ready to settle in one place and devote myself to children and like I said I was lucky having met the love of my life at 25 (my present hubby and father to all my children) a few years of being a couple he finally said we could have babies and so within 3 months I was thrilled, delighted, and excited, to be pregnant and whoooaa there were my boobs! they were suddenly massive! well massive to me ^_^ now I am 48 had four children and through the years a lot of my body has changed; heck most of it don’t work no more, but I still have my boobies and I love them ^_^ and so I find I have to wear clothes that cover me up or I will stand in a supermarket smiling down at my cleavage and this apparently is not publicly acceptable or so they tell me I don’t know if I agree with them ^_^