nervous!

well today has been a long day! my oldest daughter had recently met a lovely new boyfriend, he seemed so well suited to her they had so much in common and the relationship blossomed its been only a short time but it was lovely to see, for once as a mum i felt she was with someone who loved as much as i did and treat her with the respect she deserved, then last night out of the blue he texted he wanted to finish, it was awful, my heart sank like a huge boulder in a small pond not only because my poor daughter was going through the pain that comes when your heart is truly broken, but i too had seen a wonderful future for her, she had been so happy, they never argued, they got on so well, it is one of those relationships that made you warm and fuzzy to see , two young people happy in love and no one could understand where this sudden bolt from the blue had come from, having some experience with men but more so thinking of the experience i had with her dad (hubby) i knew back at the beginning he was a commitment phobe, he periodically would freak at deciding he loved me and sack me for a week, then decide he loved me and couldn’t be without me, so i explained that some men freak themselves out when they realise their depth of feeling, they feel overwhelmed and even trapped by their feelings, so i wiped her tears explain to be patient and let this young man have enough space to think without letting go him altogether, they agreed to meet today to talk, and oh my gosh the nerves i had , it was worse than an interview i couldn’t sit the whole time she was gone, i just wanted so much that it would all work out for her, i kept telling myself if it was meant to work it would, i have an immense amount of respect for daughter and i knew she would handle it well i knew she wouldn’t push him and really i could give her no more advice than to breathe and be hopeful, let him know she was there for him, and so she went looking beautiful and as i knew she would, she  handled the whole situation perfectly, even better than i would have done, i know when i see her she is turning so much a better person than me, i am so proud of her and more than that i am always finding each day how good a person she is, and how well she does, you wouldn’t realise she is nearly 18, she seems older and most definitely wiser than most people my age never mind those her age, so i paced the floor and i worried, i just hoped so badly to see her come in with a smile , it was only an hour but it felt like three but she came home and she was ok, phew, she had talked and they had agreed to be friends til he could get his head round everything and i was so proud of her and since this afternoon he has texted her constantly, so i am hoping loves young dream is alive and well, it’s not often the universe is kind enough to let two well suited people to come together and enjoy a loving relationship so i am hoping with all my might that this works out for her, so come on universe support this, you know you want to and you know its right!

on the other side of today the second daughter went bowling had a great time and is happy out with her best friend so that’s me happy 🙂

the son has decided the whole universe is wrong because only he likes sonic the hedgehog and is refusing to communicate because of this , he is stomping around saying how everyone in the world should be killed they are terrible people because they dont like sonic, so just another day there then, the joys of autism,

 the youngest has had a lovely day overdosing on  winx club in her pj’s so very happy 🙂 she said to me ‘why was i getting dressed?’ i was like ‘ um because i want to ?’ she said ‘but mum you’re not going out anywhere just staying in the house’ , ‘yup but i still like getting dressed’, ‘but its silly mum no one is going to see you’, ‘yes but i want to get dressed’, ‘but mum………’ i went in the shower and followed that by getting dressed 🙂

 

11 responses

  1. I hope everything works out well for your daughter and her boyfriend. She sounds like a very level head and will come through right side up no matter what. Such pains young lovers have to go through, but you have guided her wisely. Fingers crossed that it works out.

    1. hi, i think its jen? sorry i didn’t want to call you write 🙂 sounded odd 🙂 and they are communicating and that’s good for now, thank you for your interest and kind comments, i am proud of her and i know she is handling really well he texted her constantly yesterday and i know in my heart he is a good lad which is one of the reasons i want this to work out for her lets see what today brings 🙂 have a super day xx

  2. Whatever happens, whether he’s the one or not, you have given your daughter good advice and she seems very capable of handling what ever comes her way. It takes a special woman to raise daughters Kizzy, especially one who LIKE their mothers!! Be proud, don’t be scared or nervous…she’ll be fine.

    1. hi rhonda my gorgeous friend 🙂 thank you for your lovely comments all is going well and i hope i have what it takes because i have three girls to raise 🙂 my oldest i feel a bit for because she is the one i learn everything on, so i am lucky we get on so well, i am very lucky we all get on so well,
      i find its a difficult task but being the best mum i can, is often a fine line to knowing when to be a friend and when to be a mum, i try to live on the friend side a lot but sometimes i know its time to step in and be a mum,
      my second daughter is like amazing also and she is the daughter other women don’t believe, even when she was a baby she never cried only would wait in her cot and sing softly until i woke up ! she is so focused though, only eleven, yet so focused on life and what she wants, i take time to remind her to just live and be young! ,
      my youngest however is the diva and boy do we see it! i feel for her too though because my oldest was born a diva and so is doesn’t matter what the youngest tries it doesn’t phaze me because i have been there with the oldest and the poor thing has nothing to rebel against 🙂
      luckily yesterday went so well in the end i was left once again in awe of my oldest and just how well she handles things, way better than me! i am a slave to my emotions and would have crumbled at such stuff, 🙂 indeed i think i did a few times when i first met her dad! to me the world just disintegrated if i was faced with not being with him, strangely though i was born with a distorted sense of pride so i would crumble but refuse to speak about it 🙂 ( just try and imagine someone crying their eyes out whilst stamping their foot 🙂 ) oh well my girls are better people than me and i am lucky i was blessed with four gorgeous children, damn i wrote you an essay again 🙂 anyways i shall try and sum up 🙂 they texted loads yesterday all nice texts and all about how they love each other and they are meeting up saturday so we shall see but i feel positive, he is a lovely young man and he treats her well, and she is happy, and that means i am happy! so have a super excellent day my lovely rhonda 🙂 xx

      1. Your descriptions of your daughters makes me smile. It is a fine line we walk as mothers and friends to our kids, but you have the right of it. We MUST be mothers first…I do hope your oldest enjoys each and every moment with this young man as long as they make each other happy. It would be a rare thing if he is the “one” at her age, but it can happen. If not, I’m sure you will be the rock she will need to lean on to help her through it. Being an emotional being myself, I totally get what you mean about handling the painful and scary times we share with the one we love. But, the older I get the more I embrace these emotions, let them come and move on. The crying and stomping of the feet? Ha! I so see that picture clearly. The obvious pride and tremendous love you have for your family shines on the page Kizzy…but don’t sell yourself short. You children are a reflection of you and the way you love them. If you think they are better people than you…well sister, look in the mirror because that’s who they learned it from!!!
        xo
        R

  3. Great story, I empathize with you and your eldest daughter and hope all goes well for her, I love the way you sneak in humor, and on a bright note please inform your son that he is not alone. Emma is a sonic “nut” as in anything remotely connected to Sonic, DSI games, tv cartoons, T-shirts, figurines, Stuffed animals and so forth and so on. She told me it was embarressing in her class at school when she stood up and talked about Sonic and most of her fellow classmate’s said “who?” I guess you just have to be really cool to appreciate Sonic. :).

    1. hiya pen 🙂 i am glad you see me properly 🙂 i live my whole life knowing crap happens but if i can see a way of bringing a smile then the crap is slightly less crap 🙂 yes its awful but worst things happen at sea apparently and even those things pass,
      we all had such a horrid year this year , long story; three close and traumatic bereavements and other stuff , but i just feel we got to the end of year and we are able to see the sun shine and we need to always move towards the sun and smile because we have each other as a family and i feel we need to leave the heavy stuff behind and concentrate as a family on living again, so i am really proud of how well all my children are doing right now and i am happy that all we have on the horizon is a meeting saturday and they both know they love each other and i confident they will work a way through this 🙂
      on the sonic thing i am so glad i meet someone with the same limits i have! oh my gosh he is like so obsessed and yesterday we had to just accept after various tantrums that unfortunately we have to wait for the world to catch up on the sonic thing, i know its hard for him because of his autism he doesnt understand the concept of why, so whereas in another child i could explain and say because …. i cant with him because he doesn’t see that, he only sees the situation right in front of him and doesnt understand that, i don’t get phazed by these day to day things with him though, i just give him a cuddle and tell him i love him, he is 9 and i am lucky he lets me cuddle him because with autism he wont let anyone touch him, no, what really phazes me with him is his future, now that i lose sleep over constantly, 😦 i am scared for his future and i cant let him or anyone see that for now though i enjoy the little things no matter how many tantrums 🙂 have a super day xx

  4. Hope your daughter and the bf work things out… sounds a little like my “one that got away”… and I love the 2012 cartoon… I found that myself, some time back… I sometimes put it on my desktop at work 😛

    1. hiya now i cant call you the ! please give me a name i can call you i did look at your blog again but couldnt decide what you would like to be called, so hi, and thank you for your comments 🙂 its a great little cartoon! that to me thats life and sometimes we need to think that maybe there isn’t some vast explanation to stuff just some guy that ran out of paper 🙂 i am really glad to hear from you i have been worried about you and i really hope your life is getting better? or more bearable? i am sorry i dont have a good way with words i am still learning but i hope you know i have my fingers crossed for you and i hope around the corner is something wonderful or even just nice 🙂 have a lovely day xx

  5. I wish your daughter the best of luck. I hope she will remember that she is young and attractive, and there are many fish in the sea. I would be wary of someone who is so uncertain–I wouldn’t want to be jerked back and forth.

    1. hi naomi thank you for your kind comments and you are right and luckily she is more than aware of her own self worth and she does not entertain relationships unless they are meaningful , way back when she started being a teenager i sat her down and gave her a talk, not about birds and bees; i figured she knew that from school believe me they learn stuff early now 😦 but about having love for her own self her own body and never giving it up until she felt right about it, if it made her feel loved and very luckily she listened, she had one deep relationship for two years through the end of school and then had the strength to leave him because he loved her too much and became obssessive and contorlling, then she didnt bother with anyone for a while until she met this guy, right now they are taking things slow and have gone back to the being friends stage, because it seems obvious he has problems with being in a relationship i am not even sure if he needs counselling but my daughter recognised after the second time he did this, that he needed time and space to work through what ever was in his head, she told him they would be friends, she is so strong and i am so very proud of her she really does make good decisions that i know are often stronger and more sensible than those i would have made, she is wise beyond her years and i am glad to be part of her life and to know we are best friends, only thing now is i have to think about when i have the talk with my second daughter who is approaching the teenage years 🙂 luckily she doesnt seem to have noticed boys yet 🙂 have a great day xx

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